Layers

'a product from within'

growth consists of layers—
they all come from a foundation
that starts with a single stroke.
.
we put ourselves out there
doing something new,
becoming something new,
and we focus on the lack—
the blank space
in the canvas we are to fill,
saying “look how small my stroke is.
it’ll take forever to fill up the canvas entirely.”
.
and sometimes it does.
sometimes it doesn’t.
sometimes it takes a red bull and a restless night,
and other times it’s just the same little strokes—
once a day, over many days,
until they stick out like a full head of hair.
.
but the most complex,
the most telling,
the most rich,
are the ones made over time.
.
while one color inking the canvas
can say a lot,
it only says one thing
in its one stroke
on a bigger scale.
.
and maybe that one thing is so important,
the scale only amplifies it—
and it’s meant to be.
.
but sometimes,
more needs to be added
to get the full picture.
.
because some don’t say what they need to
with a singular inked canvas
in one tone, one stroke, one night.
sometimes it takes months,
years,
decades,
to have the canvas say back
what the artist has been screaming within.
.
and that truth can only be found
in the heart of the artist.
and they have to come to realize that truth—
have to stumble through their own journey
of painting on the canvas they call ‘self’,
from the collection called ‘a product from within’
for it to speak back
and out
to everyone watching—
including the artist.
.
sometimes the artist doesn’t know the message,
or the feeling or the purpose,
until the canvas tells them.
.
and suddenly,
the knot in their stomach
starts to come undone—
not all at once,
but little by little,
through every stroke, every line, every messy color
they lay down trying to find their way.
.
the knot unravels into a line—
long, winding, complicated.
it stretches across the canvas
as the artist keeps going,
following it through its questions and layers,
picking at where it’s stuck
until it lies flat.
.
and when they finally trace it to the end,
they find it leads right back to their heart—
just a few inches away
from where the knot started.
.
but it had to be pulled out,
laid bare,
seen and painted and understood,
before it could return to them whole.
.
because the problem was never far.
it was always within.
just tangled.
.
layers come together
to make a whole.
to bring complexity
and narrative
to the forefront.
.
to make known
the ties,
the knots,
that are struggled within.
.
and just sharing that struggle—
expressing it—
could give someone the chance,
the meaning, the push,
to keep trying
to untangle their own soul.
.
for the love of the beauty
that will unfold,
like the one on the canvas
perched in front of them
in a local art show.

.

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i wrote this after trying out some watercolor with a friend, and they said that like what i was painting i had layers, and that was beautiful.

so thank you for reading.
i hope something in these layers spoke to a layer in you.
and if not, that’s okay too.
you’re still part of the painting now.

❤️‍🔥